sevigny stories

Friday, October 5, 2012

My Little Mozart!

Before bed tonight, AJ pulled out his little piano and played a little song for us!

Hard at work!

Play that song, AJ!

If you know my sister, you know she is always looking for a bargain. And today, what a bargain she found! As she was driving over to our house this morning, she noticed a kids basketball hoop was sitting by its lonesome on the side of Route 16. She didn't want the basketball hoop to feel lonely, so she pulled over to the side of the road, opened up the back of her van, tossed it in and brought it over to our house. And other than a little dent on the bottom of the stand, AJ now has a basketball hoop to play with next summer and the best part is that it was free!! Thanks Cioci Kimmy - your bargain-hunting abilities never cease to amaze me! :)

AJ's new basketball hoop!

It even extends up so it can grow with AJ!

Passed Out!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Mom Stays In the Picture

This is an article I stumbled upon written by Allison Tate:

Last weekend, my family traveled to attend my oldest niece's Sweet Sixteen party. My brother and sister-in-law planned this party for many months and intended it to be a big surprise, and it included a photo booth for the guests.

I showed up to the party a bit late and, as usual, slightly askew from trying to dress myself and all my little people for such a special night out. I'm still carrying a fair amount of baby weight and wearing a nursing bra, and I don't fit into my cute clothes. I felt awkward and tired and rumpled.
I was leaning my aching back against the bar, my now 5-month-old baby sleeping in a carrier on my chest (despite the pounding bass and dulcet tones of LMFAO blasting through the room) when my 5-year-old son ran up to me.
"Come take pictures with me, Mommy," he yelled over the music, "in the photo booth!"
I hesitated. I avoid photographic evidence of my existence these days. To be honest, I avoid even mirrors. When I see myself in pictures, it makes me wince. I know I am far from alone; I know that many of my friends also avoid the camera.

It seems logical. We're sporting mama bodies and we're not as young as we used to be. We don't always have time to blow dry our hair, apply make-up, perhaps even bathe (ducking). The kids are so much cuter than we are; better to just take their pictures, we think.
But we really need to make an effort to get in the picture. Our sons need to see how young and beautiful and human their mamas were. Our daughters need to see us vulnerable and open and just being ourselves -- women, mamas, people living lives. Avoiding the camera because we don't like to see our own pictures? How can that be okay?

Too much of a mama's life goes undocumented and unseen. People, including my children, don't see the way I make sure my kids' favorite stuffed animals are on their beds at night. They don't know how I walk the grocery store aisles looking for treats that will thrill them for a special day. They don't know that I saved their side-snap, paper-thin baby shirts from the hospital where they were born or their little hospital bracelets in keepsake boxes high on the top shelves of their closets. They don't see me tossing and turning in bed wondering if I am doing an okay job as a mother, if they are okay in their schools, where we should take them for a vacation, what we should do for their birthdays. I'm up long past the news on Christmas Eve wrapping presents and eating cookies and milk, and I spend hours hunting the Internet and the local Targets for specially-requested Halloween costumes and birthday presents. They don't see any of that.

Someday, I want them to see me, documented, sitting right there beside them: me, the woman who gave birth to them, whom they can thank for their ample thighs and their pretty hair; me, the woman who nursed them all for the first years of their lives, enduring porn star-sized boobs and leaking through her shirts for months on end; me, who ran around gathering snacks to be the week's parent reader or planning the class Valentine's Day party; me, who cried when I dropped them off at preschool, breathed in the smell of their post-bath hair when I read them bedtime stories, and defied speeding laws when I had to rush them to the pediatric ER in the middle of the night for fill-in-the-blank (ear infections, croup, rotavirus).

I'm everywhere in their young lives, and yet I have very few pictures of me with them. Someday I won't be here -- and I don't know if that someday is tomorrow or thirty or forty or fifty years from now -- but I want them to have pictures of me. I want them to see the way I looked at them, see how much I loved them. I am not perfect to look at and I am not perfect to love, but I am perfectly their mother.

When I look at pictures of my own mother, I don't look at cellulite or hair debacles. I just see her -- her kind eyes, her open-mouthed, joyful smile, her familiar clothes. That's the mother I remember. My mother's body is the vessel that carries all the memories of my childhood. I always loved that her stomach was soft, her skin freckled, her fingers long. I didn't care that she didn't look like a model. She was my mama.

So when all is said and done, if I can't do it for myself, I want to do it for my kids. I want to be in the picture, to give them that visual memory of me. I want them to see how much I am here, how my body looks wrapped around them in a hug, how loved they are.
I will save the little printed page with four squares of pictures on it and the words "Morgan's Sweet Sixteen" scrawled across the top with the date. There I am, hair not quite coiffed, make-up minimal, face fuller than I would like -- one hand holding a sleeping baby's head, and the other wrapped around my sweet littlest guy, who could not care less what I look like.

As I read this article, tears streamed down my cheeks. It definitely rings true as I am not only the photographer in the family so I am always behind the lens, but I'm also pretty insecure about the way I look these days and don't want to be 'seen' in pictures. While pregnant with AJ, I gained about 45-50 pounds and I have yet to lose it. My looks are a far-cry from what I looked like when I got married and before I got pregnant. But why should that matter? Why should that stop me from being in front of the lens with my little guy who I love more than words could ever express? It shouldn't. AJ should have pictures with his Mommy to remember the fun times and love we shared. And that no matter how you look, you should be proud of who you are and not shy away from documenting moments just because you might not look your best. So from here on out, I'm going to try and make it a point to step out from behind the lens and get in at least one picture a month with my favorite little boy. Not only for me, but for my AJ to remember the bond his Mommy and him shared when I am long-gone.

Watermelon!

We finally cracked open one of the many watermelons we grew in our garden this summer. It was so juicy and absolutely delicious - I wish we could have a garden year-round!

FIFTEEN MONTHS!

Another month has come and gone and AJ is now fifteen months! The rate at which he is learning new things amazes me...he really is learning something new every day! He has had his first cousins bath at Babcia and Dziadzi's house and he actually enjoyed it with a little coaxing from Baba! She even got him to say the word 'duck'. He also is saying 'cat', 'dog', 'car' and his favorite right now is 'truck'! He absolutely loves to watch the cars and trucks go by at my parent's house and point to each vehicle and call out what it is. His signing improves everyday and he now can sign 'please', 'thank you' and 'eat'. As I mentioned last month, he understands what we are saying to him for the most part. As an example, when I tell him it's time to change his diaper, he will walk down the hall and into his room knowing that's where his changing table is. He is learning where some of his body parts are - he will point to his nose and head. And when you ask him where his tongue is he will open his mouth and stick it out for you - absolutely adorable! We're in the process of teaching him where his feetsies are now! AJ is definitely a biter and I'm not too happy about it. Luckily, he only seems to bite when he is super tired or upset about something and it's only me he bites, but still... And when I try to discipline him, he laughs in my face, which is super frustrating! He is really taking a liking to music and is always wanting us to play the CD of kids songs that Devon, Brian and the girls got him for his birthday. And one of the best sounds I have ever heard has come out of his mouth - he yelled 'Mom' from across the aisle at BJ's when he saw me coming towards him. My heart absolutely melted!

Our little AJ is definitely not a baby anymore. He is a fun-sized toddler and is learning to push the limits and develop a personality. Our baby boy is growing up!